You recently had a discussion with your kids over which is
better, Kraft mac-and-cheese, or the Velveeta kind.
You all have a strong opinion about this.
You’ve ever gotten a call from a neighbor asking to borrow
some Duct Tape, and you happen to have a roll of it in your hand.
You have a roll of it in your hand because you’re using it
to cure a skin condition.
There are more than two layers of linoleum on your floor.
One of those layers might give you cancer.
You’ve considered adding a third because the second layer is
peeling.
You’ve had a mattress strapped to the roof of your car.
You have more than one years’ worth of Christmas trees in
your back yard.
Growing up, your Barbie doll wore pants-suits because her legs wouldn't stay on otherwise.
You know what Government-Issued Honey tastes like, and you prefer it.
Your first car was the "good car" because the roof fabric wasn't sagging.
You've impressed your friends with pan-fried bologna with a grape jelly glaze. (Actually that's not a true story. I borrowed it from Vineland but it just sounds so good.)
You declined to go on a daytime talk show titled “My Family
Thinks I’m Too Sexy” with your aunt to promote her pornographic website because
she’s married to your ex-boyfriend and
you’re six months pregnant with twins.
Family and friends, please feel free to add your own.
